In the beginning
It was all so simple
Smiles were ample
But as the months pass
Gone in a flash
What started so strong
Soon crumbles to ash
But from the ash, soon will rise
Bonds formed by stronger ties
Here is my truth, my story of friendships that is far from over.
I switched schools in seventh grade. Going from a small, private school to a larger public school isn’t the easiest thing to do, especially when everyone you meet already has a best friend or a group of friends they have been with all of their lives.
Fortunately enough, I soon found my person and became best friends with a girl whom I had been told to meet. But by the end of eighth grade year, I lost my close connection with her when I started “dating” one of the boys in our friend group.
The first week of our freshman year we broke up. I had no one. That is until I found an amazing group of weirdos that I came to love. Beginning with three, we grew to ten. Then came #11. My most recent boyfriend.
You would think I would have learned the first time, but I didn’t. I lost connection with my friends and began to hang out with my boyfriend’s group of friends. I had already known some of them, in fact a couple of them were crucial to helping me transition to the new school. Though I desired to become just as close with them, it never happened. I always felt disconnected and awkward.
I have felt recently that God is trying to redirect me onto a different path, a path that will hopefully lead to new, God-centered friendships. But, to create new friendships you are sometimes required to give up the old ones. This was especially hard as I knew that the group was struggling, struggling with some pretty heavy stuff. Maybe I never fully connected with them, but it will always hurt to see them in pain.
So what now? It’s April 14, 2017, what do I do? Well, it only seemed fitting to ask forgiveness from my first group of friends as I know my abrupt leaving hurt them. The group has changed in some ways but I’m blessed that because they are so understanding and loving they chose to forgive me.
Of course, I can’t write a blog post about friendships without mentioning the one person I’ve been blessed to have by my side since first grade. She is pure, kind-hearted, determined, loving, talented, and beautiful. Maybe we only get a couple of people like that in our lives… A good friend of mine likes to think that “three is the magic number.” Meaning that if you have these three, then you have all you need: God, your future husband or wife, and your best friend.
I don’t know what happens from here, but I trust that God will bring the right people into my life. Maybe I will never have that tight-knit group of friends that does everything together. That’s to be expected when your sights are set on living for Christ instead of for yourself and a temporary life on earth. It’s not the easy road, it’s the narrow road that is less traveled.
How to Create Healthy Friendships
My advice to you is to find people who truly care for you and not your popularity, your looks, your money, or what you can give them. Form friendships with people who lift you up even when you’re not around instead of with people who are secretly putting you down.
Friends will come and go, this is normal. Learn from those around you, and use what you learn to make yourself a better person. Form friendships with people that you aspire to be like. Above all else, love others and avoid petty drama and gossip at all cost.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
1 John 4:19 (ESV)
“We love because he first loved us.”